Perfect Man, Perfect Woman There was a perfect man and a perfect woman. They met each other at a perfect party. They dated for two perfect years. They had the perfect wedding and the perfect honeymoon. They had two perfect children. One day the perfect man and the perfect woman were driving in there perfect car, they saw an elf by the side of the road, being the perfect people they were they picked him up. Well as the perfect man and the perfect woman were driving with the elf, somehow they got into an accident. Two people died and one lived. Who died and who lived? The perfect woman, because the perfect man and elves aren't real.

That's nice, that's real nice One day these two fine southern ladies were sittin' on the front porch having some iced tea. One of the women sticks out her hand for the other woman to see, and in her long southern drawl says 'Look at this ring my husband gave me. Isn't it nice?' To which the other woman replies, 'Oh that's nice, that's real nice.' The first woman then says , 'And just last month he took me on one of them Caribbean cruises.' The second woman again replies, 'Oh that's nice, that's real nice.' 'Well sweetheart doesn't your husband ever buy you nice things or send you nice places?' 'Oh', the second woman responds, 'When we first got married he did send me to etiquette school.' 'Why'd he do that?' the first woman asks. To which the second fine southern woman replies, 'Well you see, before, when someone told me about the jewellery their husband gave them, or the trips he sent her on, I would have just said I don't give a freak, but now I say that's nice, that's real nice.'