1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 医生懂得多

一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."

2:You can't go without me

The bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.

"It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him.

"But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.

没有我你们走不了

公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路.

"喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道.

"车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说.

"但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.

3:Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."

"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

英语笑话大全 爆笑篇六
《英语小幽默》

1．No Cavities

A smiling boy arrived home from a dental visit,"Hey mom,the dentist says I have no cavities. "

His mom stared at him wide-eyed and quite surprised,"It's impossible --you never brush your teeth after cleaning the chocolate box before you go to bed!

Then the boy opened his mouth --he had not a tooth left!

英文笑话：我没有蛀牙

小男孩儿看完牙医，

面带微笑地回到家：“嘿，妈妈，牙医说，我一颗蛀牙也没有。”

妈妈惊讶地瞪大眼睛：“不可能——你每回上床睡觉前都把巧克力盒子里的糖一下子吃完，而且从来不刷牙！”

这时，男孩儿张开了嘴巴——他的牙全被拔光了。

2.Teacher:“ I have two questions, it isn't necessary to answer the second question if you know the result of the first question.How much hair do you have?”

Student： “ A hundred and twenty millions.”

Teacher:“ How do you know it?”

Student:“ It is not necessary to answer the second question.”

老师："我有两个题目，你若能答出第一题就不需答第二题。你有多少根头发?" 学生："1.2亿根。" 英语幽默笑话：一分一块钱 A dollar per point

编辑点评：Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.

Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor

英语笑话大全 爆笑篇七
《笑话大全_爆笑》

笑话两则




一早上班穿鞋，发现有一只鞋上的水钻明显少了， 便问家人，“我鞋上的水钻呢？”五岁的儿子一 边扒饭吃，一边回答“我抠下来送我们班女同学 了”…… 小外甥给我出了一个题：在医学上痛分12级痛， 被蚊子盯是1级痛，生孩子是12级痛，请问13级 痛是什么！我想半天也没想起来，什么比生孩子 还痛，我说：死。他说NO，最后公布答 案……………生孩子的时候被蚊子盯，这死孩 子。。

儿童笑话


家有四岁萝莉一颗 。女儿发烧,我和老公带 她去医院。医生说,打针好的快。女儿一听 就哭,看着后面排队的病号,老公强行把她摁 住。那位三十多的男医生赶紧扎针。 萝莉 一面回头看看她爸和医生,哭着说,"你们男 人真是没一个好东西。"

每日一笑
儿子在学校又犯错了，班主任再次打电话 向家长告状。泪流满面的她彻底地感到了 作为单身妈妈的难处。她狠狠地在这个10 岁的小男孩屁股上拍了几巴掌，然后冲他 吼道：这一次到底又犯什么错误了？什么 借口？儿子眨眨眼，笑了：妈，这次犯错 后就是第十次了，老师要家访，我们男老 师单身很帅的哦！

好囧哦！


1、一天，妈妈问儿子：“你将来想找个什么样的老婆





啊？”儿子仰起脸天真的说：“我要找个像妈妈这样的！” 妈妈很高兴继续问：“为什么啊？”儿子说：“这样，我 以后有外遇老婆也发现不了。” 2、数学考试成绩公布了，两个小女孩在嘀咕。A失望地说： “如果这样下去，我们的前途定会一片渺茫。”B满不在 乎地说：“那可不一定哦！”A惊奇地问道：“为什么 呢？”B：“这么简单都不明白，咱们迟早要出嫁，没有 一个男人希望他的妻子懂数学。” 3、一群小孩子在塑泥人儿，一个小女孩不小心，把另一 个小男孩塑的“那个”碰掉了。小男孩要她赔，她就弄了 一块泥巴沾上去了。小男孩说：“那怎么粘的是向上呀。” 小女孩：“我见过的都是这样的呀！！！”

开心一刻


有次半夜一棒人(9个)唱K出来，快醉了，路 上车辆已经寥寥无几，正在聊天之际，来了 一辆出租，不由分说，稀里糊涂的居然9个人 全都塞进去了；司机表情都木了......GC是没 走几分钟碰上JC了，JC一看也呆了，说了一 句让所有人内牛满面的话，＂下来，不罚你 们钱，你们在示范一次给我看看你门几个怎 么装进去的.

伤不起啊！
有一家酒吧新出了一种酒。为了招揽顾客，就在门口 立了一个牌子说：谁喝了我们出的新酒一瓶还能完成 我们的3个任务，就免费在本店喝酒一个月！ 有 一个酒鬼就来试试了，一瓶下去摇摇晃晃的就问老板 是什么任务。老板对他说

英语笑话大全 爆笑篇八
《爆笑英语笑话 中英文对照》

英语笑话【Laughter】